Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Driving FAQs

Why is “driving someone crazy” so easy while “driving a car” so difficult?

The grocer’s shop from the petrol station is 2.5 kms. Why does it feel like 0.5 kms when Amit is driving, and 250 kms when I am trying to drive? Is distance inversely proportional to driving expertise? Why didn’t they say so in our Physics books, then?

Why is it important to “indicate” even when you are practicing steering control in an empty parking bay at midnight? Why is it that nothing makes your husband angrier than when you fail to indicate (even if you have taken a good stable turn)?

Why do I act like I am colour blind at a traffic signal? I surely can tell between a red, green and yellow when I am anywhere in the car apart from the driver’s seat. Again, if colour blindness was related to your position inside the car, why didn’t they say so in the Biology books?

Why is it that I can turn “left” when I tell myself “turn left” but will always turn “right” when someone else asks me to take “left”?

Why is it that my "brain" wants to obey my driving instructor but my "hands and feet" will take instructions from nobody but me?

How many times will I have to tell myself that to indicate “left” I need to turn that thing “up”? Don’t know what it’s called…but am referring to an elongated, protruding, rounded-at-the-tip part that can move up and down and also sideways and even a gentle touch can make it move. (Now will you dirty minds stop giggling and tell me what it's called?)

Why did it take me so much time to understand that while reversing a car, the “back” of the car moves to the direction to which the steering is turned? For god’s sake, when you are “reversing”, you want the car to move “backwards” and what the “front” of your car does is none of your concern! Why couldn’t I get such a simple thing?

And most importantly…

Why don’t they have something in between the accelerator and the brakes? Am I the only one confusing the two and speeding up head-on towards incoming traffic?

7 comments:

The Ketchup Girl said...

the first line is a clincher. Almost an award winning line. :). Like i said - in time everything falls in place- your leg on the breaks when required and on the accelator when needed. and dont be too keen on learning driving- u have no idea what evil designs our husbands are scheming- those long romantic drives- well they are waiting to go on them- only, you drive and they snore. Their way of getting back at us for constantly yapping while they drive.

spiderman! said...

"...even a gentle touch can make it move" :D :D

late, but here said...

readers' dirty minds???!!! you dirty blogger!!! stop the veiled porn-writing :) btw, all the best. :)

Scribbler :) said...

@ latecomer - See? I told you...ye dirty fellas! Thanks, btw :)

Debanjana said...

Absolutely wonderful post. You are better off than I am...trust me. I cannot keep the car on the road at all. Sounds dangerous? That's me.

Daisy Blue said...

I cant accept more.. I have one post fully dedicated to my driving expertise.. & husbands do get crazy ;)

Rhea said...

Aharey! Even I was the nervous sorts. The only medicine for this is to drive and drive and drive. :)