Wednesday, July 29, 2009


No am not going on my nth honeymoon…in fact am not even going on a vacation before December. But lately I have had many friends (who are hoping , fearing or simply going to get married soon) ask me “So give me some honeymoon tips.” As if people have taken me on their honeymoon since I was born!!!

On googling “honeymoon”, you get 22,400,000 results. Just shows how much “collective” information there is out there. But no “one” person can be considered an authority, as a person can technically go on a honeymoon only a few times (depending on the number of failed marriages). Of course there are a zillion “honeymoon experts” in the form of travel agents and package dealers…who will do everything that is to be done (except perhaps sleep with your partner).

So here’s my two cents worth, if none of the 22,400,000 results have quite helped you:

Do not postpone your honeymoon for a “more suitable” time. Go for one immediately after the wedding, while the mehndi is still fresh and the mind is in its “spending best”. If you decide to do it later, trust me, it will either never happen….or even if it does, will never be the same. Money will be short, holidays not long enough, destinations never decided, moods never right, and the most horrible “we-have-been-married-3-months-what-do-we-need-a-honeymoon-for” feeling or the "let's-ask-Guddu-and-Mampi-to-join-us-it-will-be-more-fun" feeling. DON’T let that happen. Set off from the reception venue, if you must.

Choose a place that both of you haven’t visited earlier. If one of you has, it will be like watching a thriller with someone next to you narrating the next scene…or worse still someone being very helpful by telling you what’s going to happen at the end. You don’t want your partner to show off his/her geographical/navigational/cultural/lingual expertise when you are on a honeymoon. Go to a new place and see it for the first time…together.

A honeymoon is NOT a usual vacation. So don’t make plans and checklists and places-to-visit lists. Even if you are the adventurous explorer, trust me, you will get plenty of opportunities to visit places in your life. You don’t HAVE TO see all the places that are to be seen…or do all the things that are to be done. Relax by the beach/mountain/forest…or in the spa, drink exotic fluids the names of which you can’t pronounce after a drink, eat the most extravagant meals, and chat chat chat. Get to know each other rather than getting to know the place (I know most marriages happen after a lifetime of “seeing-each-other”. Nevertheless, don’t give up on trying to “know” each other as that’s an exercise you will have to do all your life. Better start it when the weddings rings are still sparkling).

Choose a remote place that doesn’t have internet or mobile connections. You don’t want to check your work mails…or get phone calls from over-enthusiastic friends and family asking you “how is it going?”

Make sure that the indoors are as good as the outdoors (you might not want to go out at all :)). So the hotel/chalet/resort or whatever other cool things they have these days, should be one that makes you say “wow”.

Meditate for 5 seconds everyday in the morning. It might be too much to tolerate your partner 24/7 for 5-7 days at a stretch, with no one else to talk to.

Carry more clothes/shoes/accessories than you need or can possibly wear during your stay. Remember, these days the whole idea of going on an exotic honeymoon is to be able to impress friends and friends’ friends on orkut and facebook!! So you must look as cool as you possibly can.

Last but the MOST important, carry a tripod. Otherwise you will end up with dozens of solo pictures…or distorted and bloated faces of the two of you trying to look at the camera that you are holding as far away as you possibly can (doesn’t really help unless you have long hands like the “petnis” we read about as children ). Worse still, having one or two pictures of the two of you together that a kind passerby had volunteered to click. Remember, kind people are mostly bad photographers…and you cannot ask them to keep clicking till you look your slimmest best. A tripod will help solve all your photographic dilemmas.

So that’s that. Happy honeymooning!


Paws Awhile said...

Interesting information. I am kind of surprised that the mere preparation for a honeymoon can give you so much fodder for thought! Then again, if people are asking you for tips on a subject, it is better be an expert on it [grin].

Nice to see you back Nonz :-)

Debanjana said...

Hey know-it-all-aunty....u make me wanna go on a honeymoon again!

The Ketchup Girl said...

hahahahahaha. good one. the so called enthusiastic families n friends were all too obtrusive on mine honeymoon too- three phone calls daily asking- how is it going. and it was just not them- my husband too called the whole fcking country- friends, families, bosses, enemies. Your tip of a remote location is priceless. And so are all other tips. But hilarious post. thanks for obliging me. :)

AB said...

LOL. I like the last tip. I shall keep all in mind my love if ever I do get around to it:)

Deepmala said...

Awesome tipss....

Daisy Blue said...

Good one..I completely agree on going on a honeymoon immediately after the wedding there is never a good time & that what I did :-) !!
And btw I have blogrolled you..

Rane (The Orchid with All Shades Pink) said...

and now that I am getting married in a couple of months.. this post was a wonderful surprise and I so needed to read something like this..

thank you for this post..
and i am following you from now.. will be here to read more of you..

God bless

ItsOnlyMe said...

Absolute entertainment value as always...and its left me wanting for sure u can pull many more tips out of that brilliant brain of urs. So when do we expect a sequel...maybe this time some tips for the 2nd honeymoon ;)

Joy Forever said...

Lovely post - all of those tips are worth considering! And the last one is a gem - I have felt the need for carrying a tripod around too often even as a single man. I visit exotic places (well...ok, not exotic but places worth being photographed in anyway) only to come back with tonnes of photos of other people and the general surroundings. I can perfectly understand how much more important a tripod will be during a honeymoon!